Thursday, December 10, 2009
Saturday, September 5, 2009
09.05.09
Hey Readers. (if there are any.)
This post won't be very long. But i just had a really good feeling and needed to write about it. I have had so many ups and downs these past few months. And I think I made a leap today. In two ways. I am actually sitting here in my swimsuit and I feel good. I have heard countless times about the contrversy of Liz the supermodel, who is a size 14 and did a photo shoot for InStyle(i think) magazine. She looks beautiful, and real. And I guess that made me realize that I can look that way too. I think it just comes down to feeling healthy and okay with yourself. I always say i don't care what people think but when it came to my size I did. But i don't anymore. I really wanna start being healthier. I wanna work out a couple times a week and eat better. Im in college so I'll always have those slip ups. But I want them to be just that..minimal slip ups. Things that can be controlled and that are not a part of my daily eating routine. I really want to be okay with my curves and my body and actually sizes aren't a big deal. I mean it's just a number. So, I really want to keep progressing with this.
Also, Im really starting to believe that there are other people out there. Other people that care about my well being and actually are genuinely interested in what's going on with me, and how I am. I have made a couple good friends at Kent and I love it. And when I say a couple I really mean like 2-3. This campus is so huge but again, the size of this campus does not reflect the amount of friendships youll make, but just the amount of opportunities that are out there. I just really like the few friends Ive made lately and I appreciate them. So if you read this, although you don't know who you are. I thank you. :)
All right thanks for reading.
//LauraelizabetH.
This post won't be very long. But i just had a really good feeling and needed to write about it. I have had so many ups and downs these past few months. And I think I made a leap today. In two ways. I am actually sitting here in my swimsuit and I feel good. I have heard countless times about the contrversy of Liz the supermodel, who is a size 14 and did a photo shoot for InStyle(i think) magazine. She looks beautiful, and real. And I guess that made me realize that I can look that way too. I think it just comes down to feeling healthy and okay with yourself. I always say i don't care what people think but when it came to my size I did. But i don't anymore. I really wanna start being healthier. I wanna work out a couple times a week and eat better. Im in college so I'll always have those slip ups. But I want them to be just that..minimal slip ups. Things that can be controlled and that are not a part of my daily eating routine. I really want to be okay with my curves and my body and actually sizes aren't a big deal. I mean it's just a number. So, I really want to keep progressing with this.
Also, Im really starting to believe that there are other people out there. Other people that care about my well being and actually are genuinely interested in what's going on with me, and how I am. I have made a couple good friends at Kent and I love it. And when I say a couple I really mean like 2-3. This campus is so huge but again, the size of this campus does not reflect the amount of friendships youll make, but just the amount of opportunities that are out there. I just really like the few friends Ive made lately and I appreciate them. So if you read this, although you don't know who you are. I thank you. :)
All right thanks for reading.
//LauraelizabetH.
Thursday, August 20, 2009
08.20.09
I honestly haven't written in quite some time. I don't know. I guess it's just been because I have been trying to enjoy summer as much as possible before jumping back in to a jam packed school schedule. Sitting here now looking back on these last 3 months. I didn't really do anything memorable. I think my most memorable moment was meeting all of my new work friends. I mean, I've never been so welcome at a restaurant before. I transfer jobs alot. Not like entire companies, but different stores because I'm back and forth to school. And so, transferring isn't a big deal to me anymore. Yeah the store looks different, I have different managers, and the employees are different. But literally. It's all the same. But when I came to the Coventry Winking Lizard they all immediately started asking me to hang out and seem genuinely interested in how I am. I mean, that really stood out..because they couldve totally made me an outcast because i was the "new girl". Anyways, I'm greatful that they didn't.
I'm so ready to go back to school. I just want this whole year to be different. I have spent so many years in doors or doing the same thing all of the time. I really wanna make a valid effort to be around new and positive people and experience other things. Kent is a big party school, and I mean honestly, who doesn't love a good party. BUT! I want more than that. So, that's what I'm gonna strive for. I think I made a few good friends last year. Particularly Pam, Mallory and even Sarah (even though we didn't hang out a ton). I mean, I still talk to all 3 of them and we are all over the place. I think that's awesome. I'm really sad Mallory graduated and won't be here. Man, that chick is so awesome. She deserves the best. And I love her. Sooo. I plan to spend alot of time with Pam and Sarah. I think it'll be a good time. I wanna go to as many sporting events as I can. Especially basketball and volleyball. I wanna go to more local shows and hopefully my internship at the label will help me with that.
My music has really come a long way since I first began lessons. I've started on a song. And I'm really just learning the basics of song writing and melodies that fit over chords. It's such a big process that I didn't know. I though someone played a couple chords and just sang whatever they knew. But there's a lot more theory behind it. I can actually play my song at regular speed. My favorite cover song to play right now is Boulevard of Broken Dreams by Greenday and If You Could Only See by Tonic. I'm not 100% good..but again I've only had about 6-7 lessons. I'm just so excited to actually be DOING it. Ugh, it makes me upset to think that I could have already been doing shows. BUT! I've gotta look forward. My past has already occured. I'm still able to mold and shape my future in whatever way I choose.
Note: My sisters dog Bailey is the cutest thing. Anytime he's really tired he just lays on his side with his feet straight out and doesn't move. It's seriously adorable. I love him. And he makes me want a dog, really bad.
All right. Well it's time for me to go lay down. I'M GOING CAMPING TOMORROW! (for my first time.) And! p.s. I actually found a swimsuit that looks really good on my body type. I smiled a bit when I saw how it looked. It was a nice feeling.
Goodnight.
//LauraelizabetH.
I'm so ready to go back to school. I just want this whole year to be different. I have spent so many years in doors or doing the same thing all of the time. I really wanna make a valid effort to be around new and positive people and experience other things. Kent is a big party school, and I mean honestly, who doesn't love a good party. BUT! I want more than that. So, that's what I'm gonna strive for. I think I made a few good friends last year. Particularly Pam, Mallory and even Sarah (even though we didn't hang out a ton). I mean, I still talk to all 3 of them and we are all over the place. I think that's awesome. I'm really sad Mallory graduated and won't be here. Man, that chick is so awesome. She deserves the best. And I love her. Sooo. I plan to spend alot of time with Pam and Sarah. I think it'll be a good time. I wanna go to as many sporting events as I can. Especially basketball and volleyball. I wanna go to more local shows and hopefully my internship at the label will help me with that.
My music has really come a long way since I first began lessons. I've started on a song. And I'm really just learning the basics of song writing and melodies that fit over chords. It's such a big process that I didn't know. I though someone played a couple chords and just sang whatever they knew. But there's a lot more theory behind it. I can actually play my song at regular speed. My favorite cover song to play right now is Boulevard of Broken Dreams by Greenday and If You Could Only See by Tonic. I'm not 100% good..but again I've only had about 6-7 lessons. I'm just so excited to actually be DOING it. Ugh, it makes me upset to think that I could have already been doing shows. BUT! I've gotta look forward. My past has already occured. I'm still able to mold and shape my future in whatever way I choose.
Note: My sisters dog Bailey is the cutest thing. Anytime he's really tired he just lays on his side with his feet straight out and doesn't move. It's seriously adorable. I love him. And he makes me want a dog, really bad.
All right. Well it's time for me to go lay down. I'M GOING CAMPING TOMORROW! (for my first time.) And! p.s. I actually found a swimsuit that looks really good on my body type. I smiled a bit when I saw how it looked. It was a nice feeling.
Goodnight.
//LauraelizabetH.
Thursday, July 23, 2009
07.23.09
Hey everyone, (if anyone is even reading this)
I haven't blogged in awhile. I don't know exactly why. I think I just have so much going on that I have decided to keep private. It takes alot of courage to express deep emotions to people that you may not know. So on that note, I think I will save it for another post.
On a lighter note I am really getting into this guitar lessons. Im playing songs that I have envyed for years. I mean Matchbox Twenty, Goo Goo Dolls, Tonic, Lifehouse..classic, classic bands (at least in my era). So yeah, I'm actually being taught the chords and learning the strum patterns. It's making my music dream/career a little bit more real. I keep asking myself can this really happen? When I write a song I believe that someone else in the world has to relate to my words. Right? I mean, I can't be the only one going through all of these good and bad experiences. And if I am, then I'm more than happy to share my experiences with everyone. I just hope everyone becomes supportive.
I'm really trying to decide what city/state I want to move to in a year. So far, my options are New York, Philadelphia, stay in Ohio but move to Columbus or Cincinatti, possibly even California. So I have some options..right now I'm leaning towards NY. With the career I'm striving for and my music career I really think NY would just open up a million doors of opportunity. Plus Kendra & Brye are there. :) Which is a plus. So I have a year to decide and narrow my options down, I just honestly can't wait to graduate.
Graduate. wow, it's finally my turn to say that.
Well, I know this is kind of short compared to my other posts...but I'm in the process of cooking some dinner. Tacos!
Enjoy your night everyone (again, if anyone reads this!)
//LauraelizabetH.
I haven't blogged in awhile. I don't know exactly why. I think I just have so much going on that I have decided to keep private. It takes alot of courage to express deep emotions to people that you may not know. So on that note, I think I will save it for another post.
On a lighter note I am really getting into this guitar lessons. Im playing songs that I have envyed for years. I mean Matchbox Twenty, Goo Goo Dolls, Tonic, Lifehouse..classic, classic bands (at least in my era). So yeah, I'm actually being taught the chords and learning the strum patterns. It's making my music dream/career a little bit more real. I keep asking myself can this really happen? When I write a song I believe that someone else in the world has to relate to my words. Right? I mean, I can't be the only one going through all of these good and bad experiences. And if I am, then I'm more than happy to share my experiences with everyone. I just hope everyone becomes supportive.
I'm really trying to decide what city/state I want to move to in a year. So far, my options are New York, Philadelphia, stay in Ohio but move to Columbus or Cincinatti, possibly even California. So I have some options..right now I'm leaning towards NY. With the career I'm striving for and my music career I really think NY would just open up a million doors of opportunity. Plus Kendra & Brye are there. :) Which is a plus. So I have a year to decide and narrow my options down, I just honestly can't wait to graduate.
Graduate. wow, it's finally my turn to say that.
Well, I know this is kind of short compared to my other posts...but I'm in the process of cooking some dinner. Tacos!
Enjoy your night everyone (again, if anyone reads this!)
//LauraelizabetH.
Monday, July 6, 2009
07.06.09.
Todays going to be a bit straight forward. A little in your face. Because that's how I'm feeling today. Have you ever had so much passion about something it almost makes you angry? And not seriously angry where it could cause an argument. But a type of angry that will allow your heart to race and veins to pop and voice to become hoarse when speaking about it? Well I have. And mine is with singing. Sometimes, I get this gut feeling that the reason I can't stick with one job or aren't 100% percent satisfied with my major of choice..is because what I'm here to do is sing. To pour out my feelings to the world with no boundaries and let every single person out there know..that you. aren't. alone. I have had so many sleepless nights thinking that I'm the only one out there..and then I hear a song and somehow I believe everything will be okay..simply because I'm not alone. I want to help people, it's in my personality..it's what I truly believe. And my music could do it. And so, I have started guitar lessons to be able to pursue it. I have had this empty feeling in my stomach for so long..and this past week it hasn't been as deep. And the only thing that's changed is that Ive started guitar lessons. Music is my life. And although I have huge stage freight I'll overcome it like every other fear that I write about. If I was speaking about this to someone in person my mouth would be dry from run on sentences and from a build up of passion overflowing.
I just wanted to blog this quickly before I run out for the day. Live your passion. It's what we're here to do.
//LauraelizabetH.
I just wanted to blog this quickly before I run out for the day. Live your passion. It's what we're here to do.
//LauraelizabetH.
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
06.23.09
I'm not sure how long this post will be. I just don't have my mind together as well as I normally do. Yesterday, I was supposed to get an apartment with my close friend Caitlin. And the apartment was gorgeous, the price was decent..but something kept holding me back. I feel like I'm using my parents house as a crutch and it bothers me. I don't fully understand why I'm so scared to move out. Everyone else did it, but I can't. I make a decent amount of money at the Winking Lizard..and I probably can handel it...so what's my problem? I don't know. And it bugged me all night. And I didn't sleep well. I think it's because alot of people out there have their parents helping them out financially. It's not the same this way..and I'm not mad at them for it. It just puts me in a bad situation. I mean Caitlin..her parents pay for a decent amount of things..but everything I do I pay for. Car, phone, insurance, gas, etc. So to add on an additionaly $350 is huge you know? But I also don't want my first time being on my own to be in a completely different city and state. I don't know.
Question of the Day: At what point do you have to just grow up and be on your own?
//LauraelizabetH.
Question of the Day: At what point do you have to just grow up and be on your own?
//LauraelizabetH.
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
6.16.09
So, blogging everyday hasn't really been an easy thing for me. I work about 5 or 6 days a week from 4-1230 and then I'm exhausted. Plus, I'm taking summer classes too. So..if anyone is reading this..sorry for the delay.
This past week has probably been the most draining week of my entire life. Maybe, that's a bit of a exaggeration, but nonetheless it's tiring. Relationships are a draining thing, but only when they are on the bad side. It's so hard to prove yourself to someone, or to make yourself heard. Once you have done something wrong..(or in my case many something's wrong) you basically have to live your life day in and day out walking on egg shells until you get it all fixed. But what happens when it's not fixed. Or when it's been a decent amount of time and you still feel like you haven' truly progressed? I don't know. Im in a pretty difficult situation and I have only two options and either way I look like the bad guy. Many of you may say that it shouldn't matter what other people say and that I should do what makes me happy. But it's not that black & white, or cut & dry. Because right now..two things would make me happy and they're on opposite sides of the spectrum. I'm a pisces. I don't know how many people know about zodiac signs, or believe in them..but I do. So, again..I'm a pisces. This means that I'm pretty emotional, artistic, caring, and helpful. It also means that I take things to heart, I have a temper, and I can sometimes be stubborn. The main characteristic I want to focus on is helpful. That characteristic can be positive and negative. It's all fun and good to help someone because you know you can make a difference and you know they'll appreciate it. But then it can be negative when you really want to help someone but you know it's out of your control, or that the help you could offer wouldn't do any justice. So in that case..what do you do? Do you keep helping when it's potentially not making you happy anymore, or do you sit back and let them handle it on their own? It's a hard decision to make, especially for the ones closest to you.
On another note. My summer classes began on Monday. I don't know how I like online classes. I always feel like I'm forgetting something. But it's not TOO bad because I have an entire week to get the assignment done. I really have to stay focused this summer on classes because these two classes will advance the process of me graduating in May. Wow..that's so weird to say (or type).."graduating in May". I always hear other people saying it and I think "that must feel good"..but I'm scared. Since I was about a Junior in college I have always said that once I graduated from college I would move out of state, get away, and start all over again. The city of choice is Chicago..and my dream still stands. So this time next year..hopefully I'll have a job, an apartment and a new life to begin in Chicago. And I'm gonna go with or without anyone. I almost gave this dream up for someone..and I just don't know if I can. I have given up so much of my life for relationships and this is one dream I'm keeping for myself.
Question of the Day:
-What dreams do you have? And at what lengths will you go to reach them?
//LauraelizabetH.
This past week has probably been the most draining week of my entire life. Maybe, that's a bit of a exaggeration, but nonetheless it's tiring. Relationships are a draining thing, but only when they are on the bad side. It's so hard to prove yourself to someone, or to make yourself heard. Once you have done something wrong..(or in my case many something's wrong) you basically have to live your life day in and day out walking on egg shells until you get it all fixed. But what happens when it's not fixed. Or when it's been a decent amount of time and you still feel like you haven' truly progressed? I don't know. Im in a pretty difficult situation and I have only two options and either way I look like the bad guy. Many of you may say that it shouldn't matter what other people say and that I should do what makes me happy. But it's not that black & white, or cut & dry. Because right now..two things would make me happy and they're on opposite sides of the spectrum. I'm a pisces. I don't know how many people know about zodiac signs, or believe in them..but I do. So, again..I'm a pisces. This means that I'm pretty emotional, artistic, caring, and helpful. It also means that I take things to heart, I have a temper, and I can sometimes be stubborn. The main characteristic I want to focus on is helpful. That characteristic can be positive and negative. It's all fun and good to help someone because you know you can make a difference and you know they'll appreciate it. But then it can be negative when you really want to help someone but you know it's out of your control, or that the help you could offer wouldn't do any justice. So in that case..what do you do? Do you keep helping when it's potentially not making you happy anymore, or do you sit back and let them handle it on their own? It's a hard decision to make, especially for the ones closest to you.
On another note. My summer classes began on Monday. I don't know how I like online classes. I always feel like I'm forgetting something. But it's not TOO bad because I have an entire week to get the assignment done. I really have to stay focused this summer on classes because these two classes will advance the process of me graduating in May. Wow..that's so weird to say (or type).."graduating in May". I always hear other people saying it and I think "that must feel good"..but I'm scared. Since I was about a Junior in college I have always said that once I graduated from college I would move out of state, get away, and start all over again. The city of choice is Chicago..and my dream still stands. So this time next year..hopefully I'll have a job, an apartment and a new life to begin in Chicago. And I'm gonna go with or without anyone. I almost gave this dream up for someone..and I just don't know if I can. I have given up so much of my life for relationships and this is one dream I'm keeping for myself.
Question of the Day:
-What dreams do you have? And at what lengths will you go to reach them?
//LauraelizabetH.
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