6.16.09

So, blogging everyday hasn't really been an easy thing for me. I work about 5 or 6 days a week from 4-1230 and then I'm exhausted. Plus, I'm taking summer classes too. So..if anyone is reading this..sorry for the delay.
This past week has probably been the most draining week of my entire life. Maybe, that's a bit of a exaggeration, but nonetheless it's tiring. Relationships are a draining thing, but only when they are on the bad side. It's so hard to prove yourself to someone, or to make yourself heard. Once you have done something wrong..(or in my case many something's wrong) you basically have to live your life day in and day out walking on egg shells until you get it all fixed. But what happens when it's not fixed. Or when it's been a decent amount of time and you still feel like you haven' truly progressed? I don't know. Im in a pretty difficult situation and I have only two options and either way I look like the bad guy. Many of you may say that it shouldn't matter what other people say and that I should do what makes me happy. But it's not that black & white, or cut & dry. Because right now..two things would make me happy and they're on opposite sides of the spectrum. I'm a pisces. I don't know how many people know about zodiac signs, or believe in them..but I do. So, again..I'm a pisces. This means that I'm pretty emotional, artistic, caring, and helpful. It also means that I take things to heart, I have a temper, and I can sometimes be stubborn. The main characteristic I want to focus on is helpful. That characteristic can be positive and negative. It's all fun and good to help someone because you know you can make a difference and you know they'll appreciate it. But then it can be negative when you really want to help someone but you know it's out of your control, or that the help you could offer wouldn't do any justice. So in that case..what do you do? Do you keep helping when it's potentially not making you happy anymore, or do you sit back and let them handle it on their own? It's a hard decision to make, especially for the ones closest to you.
On another note. My summer classes began on Monday. I don't know how I like online classes. I always feel like I'm forgetting something. But it's not TOO bad because I have an entire week to get the assignment done. I really have to stay focused this summer on classes because these two classes will advance the process of me graduating in May. Wow..that's so weird to say (or type).."graduating in May". I always hear other people saying it and I think "that must feel good"..but I'm scared. Since I was about a Junior in college I have always said that once I graduated from college I would move out of state, get away, and start all over again. The city of choice is Chicago..and my dream still stands. So this time next year..hopefully I'll have a job, an apartment and a new life to begin in Chicago. And I'm gonna go with or without anyone. I almost gave this dream up for someone..and I just don't know if I can. I have given up so much of my life for relationships and this is one dream I'm keeping for myself.

Question of the Day:
-What dreams do you have? And at what lengths will you go to reach them?


//LauraelizabetH.